Tuesday, January 28, 2014

I obviously hate you and don't value my sanity

I think I must be some kind of psychopath, because recently it seems like I've been really into self torture.  It's starting to become a big issue, because its spreading to the people around me. Like you. So if you want to save yourself, don't scroll any further. Especially if you, like me, live in Michigan, where snow's been falling non-stop since Halloween and most days, the temperature is zero or, if the weather really feels like being an over achiever, lower.

I mean, I don't hate Michigan. I love that we have four seasons (ahem even if winter is wayyyyy longer than all the other ones), but most of the time I'd rather be at the beach. More specifically, the ocean beach on Sullivan's Island, South Carolina, where we spent a week two summers ago. Things I miss ...

1. Being tan. Oh, how miss being tan. I know, I know, it was probably giving me skin cancer. But I spend so much time not being tan that it probably makes up for the one week out of the year that my skin spends actually exposed to actually exposed to sun!

 2. This
 3. My parents walking on the beach like supermodels. 
 4. This sunset every. night. 
 5. This beach being just 3 blocks away. 
 6. This being my back yard.
 7. The moon being pink. 
 8. The ocean. I've been to the ocean once . . . I fell in love. 

 9. Finding seashells. And constantly being happy. And warm. 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Yeah well it works, okay?

I literally haven't washed my hair with shampoo in over a week. No, I'm not turning into some kind of hippie, in spite of hard evidence to the contrary.

Back in 09, when I used to be cool.

Anyway, about that washing my hair thing . . . I don't.  Yep. For the last few days I've been doing that vinegar/baking soda thing that you've maybe heard about because it's a trend now. You heard about it here first, folks. 

In really, really simple terms, it works because baking soda and vinegar aren't as hard on your scalp as shampoo. When you use shampoo, it strips your hair of its natural oils - which is why it feels super-clean at first! - but that eventually causes your hair to work overtime to reproduce the oils, leaving you with - you guessed it - oily hair! That means that most of us have to wash our hair every single day, which causes it to break and just generally be less shiny and gorgeous. Sooooo . . . when you use baking soda and vinegar, it DOESN'T strip your hair of natural oils, so your hair DOESN'T get oily as fast. Rumor has it that after a few weeks of the system, you can go 2-3 days between each wash! 

So, how does it work, you ask? 1 part baking soda to 2-3 parts water. You have to experiment with the amount needed for your hair - I have short hair and use 1 tablespoon of baking soda and 2 tablespoons of water. Scrub that into your scalp really well (since its not as harsh as shampoo you really have to scrub!) and rinse it out. Next, rinse your hair with a cold vinegar rinse (thats 1 part vinegar to 3-4 parts water) and rinse that out with cold water. You don't have to use cold water, because I mean duh cold water in the winter. Nope. 

Oh, and make sure to put some lavender oil into your vinegar rinse or otherwise get some kind of good smelling spray in your hair, because you don't want to smell like vinegar.  Don't worry too much - one of those things should take care of it. 

Also, prepare to get called a hippie by your family members and for extreme jealousy of everyone who sees your hair, because this stuff works. 

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I make good use of my time

Time management has never been an area of strength for me, which really stinks because the world is basically designed for the people who are. Why can't it be so that the people who always show up late, finish projects at the last minute, and do useless, fun things rather than productive, boring things get ahead in life? Because I would be great at that. And the way I see it, I'm going to either have to work against my natural tendencies for MY ENTIRE LIFE or learn to live with the consequences of what some might call "slacking." 

One prime example is my PSG white iPhone case.

It used to be white until Wednesday night, when I decided to decorate it instead of cracking into the pile of books in my backpack. I don't regret that at all. I'm actually kind of proud of it, which is why I wanted to show it to you.  The band sticker came from church camp because I'm hard core, and the prints are from magazines.  Spiderman came off my book cover. The heart is from a note from one of my friends, and the time stamp on the sticker used to be part of a movie ticket. All held together with wood glue and packing tape. It is a quality piece of work. 

Thanks for letting me brag on my very important little project. Go out there and make it a productive day. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Things I Learn

Yesterday I learned about when life gives you lemons, eat chocolate ice cream. Because sometimes lemonade isn't enough. And, let's be honest, no one really likes lemon desserts.

Due to a dress code violation, I was sent home to change my clothes. I promise it's not as bad as it sounds. My dress was an inch too short and I WAS WEARING TIGHTS. Not that I'm bitter. No sir.

So I got home, let myself in, and changed into a skirt that was less revealing (of my tights. BY AN INCH!) and had just concluded that, yes, I should probably go back to school, when I remembered that we have Healthy Choice chocolate ice cream bars in the freezer. I mean they're healthy, right? And delicious. And no one else was home. So why shouldn't I be able to have one on my way back to school?

So I did, and my day got 1000000% better. The sun came out, the radio decided to play a song I actually liked. Good life choice. I guess the moral of the story is, always have your chocolate ice cream on hand, because you never know when your day will take a turn for the worse. Even if you're wearing tights.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Maybe if I did cool things

So, I was just stalking myself on blogger. (Yep, I'm that full of myself.) Oh really? You don't do that? You don't scroll through your old Instagrams simply for the satisfaction of how good you looked in that one dress, or press the "see more" button at the bottom of your Facebook page to relive 2009 just for the heck of it? No matter how painful it is to be reminded of your old hairstyle, lingo, relationship, whatever - WE ALL DO IT!! Yeah, that's what I thought.

To further justify how super-concieted or nostalgic or whatever it was I was being, stalking my own blog got me thinking about why do I not do this anymore?

And then I said to myself, Self, (that one's courtesy of my dad. No wonder I'm so funnay) it's because WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING COOL AND ACTUALLY TOOK PICTURES OF IT OR EVEN REMEMBERED WHAT HAPPENED? Not that I was passed out drunk or anything, but lets be honest. Most of my recent pictures and ativities consist of things like this. AKA having fun and taking selfies, which is the beauty of being a teenager and owning my PSG white iPhone. We're expected to do things like taking cute selfies in selife study hall and then having them posted on Instagram against our will (see below) And then stalking ourselves later.

 Also, ignoring the less important things like an impending heat stroke, dehydration, and the fact that we have to pee. so. bad. at Cedar Point in order to capture our sweaty little faces.
 Taking selfies alone and pretending we were with Zac Efron.
Having the paparazzi take pictures of us while we have a dinosaur on our face.
And all of these got me thinking about how I never tkae pictures of cool stuff anymore, and seriosly you don't really want to see my face overandoverandovereverysingleday. It's okay, you can be honest. So I'll work on that, because I really do enjoy this part of my life and it means a lot to me. And I miss you.
Do you feel like we just broke up and I want you back?

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I Made You Cookies

So, guess what? You're in luck! Because this last weekend I did something BEYOND fabulous, and it's called I went to church camp at this camp about in the middle of my hand, right next to the gigantic crease and the one thats supposed to tell you how many husbands you're going to have. (I'm going to die alone, just for the record.) It's called Springhill, and there's one somewhere else in Michigan and in Indiana if you live in either place and you're interested (you should be.) The only down side is that they don't have peanut butter there because "someone could be allergic and die" whatever  but they do have Jesus so that definitely makes up for it.

Ok now I have no idea what I was even talking about.

Something about cookies . . . and you being lucky . . .

OH! Because as a result of church camp, I woke up tired and feeling disgusting Monday morning and made an executive decision (an excellent one at that) to exempt myself from school. So, I slept until noon and then watched Harry Potter (the 6th one) and made cookies and let me tell you, it was pretty much a miracle cure. And also, the cookies I invented are delicious.

And healthy. 

Waiiiittt! Come back! They're still delicious.  They're not pretty, but everybody knows that its what's on the inside that counts.

They're full on lots of healthy things AND some very very naughty unhealthy things that make them taste good. And you should really just give them a try and see if you don't get addicted because I totally did. Like, I ate half the batch after I made them yesterday. Not that I have self-control or anything, so I guess that's not really impressive. But seriously just try it I DARE YOU!

Healthy Granola Cookies
1/4 cup butter, softened
1/2 medium banana
1 T Honey
1 T brown sugar
1 T granulated sugar
2 medium egg whites
3/4 cup granola, use your favorite!
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1 1/4 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup creamy peanut butter (JIF. Only JIF)
1 1/2 t vanilla
1/2 t almond extract
1/2 t butter flavor
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t baking powder

What to do:
Preheat the oven to 375.

Put your banana half in a mixing bowl and mash it with a banana masher or any other variety of masher. As long as its good and smooshed because no one wants big banana chunks in their cookie.

Throw all the other stuff in the bowl and mix it up REALLY GOOD!

Divide the dough into 21 equal-ish portions on a greased cookie sheet or two. (I don't know you. I don't know how big your cookie sheets are.) Bake them for 8-10 minutes and then eat them. 

Each cookie is 135 calories ish, if you care. But I mean just go ahead and eat them all anyway because CHECK OUT ALL THOSE WHOLESOME INGREDIENTS! 

And that's why you're happy that I went to church camp this weekend. Love ya