Things I Learn

Yesterday I learned about when life gives you lemons, eat chocolate ice cream. Because sometimes lemonade isn't enough. And, let's be honest, no one really likes lemon desserts.

Due to a dress code violation, I was sent home to change my clothes. I promise it's not as bad as it sounds. My dress was an inch too short and I WAS WEARING TIGHTS. Not that I'm bitter. No sir.

So I got home, let myself in, and changed into a skirt that was less revealing (of my tights. BY AN INCH!) and had just concluded that, yes, I should probably go back to school, when I remembered that we have Healthy Choice chocolate ice cream bars in the freezer. I mean they're healthy, right? And delicious. And no one else was home. So why shouldn't I be able to have one on my way back to school?

So I did, and my day got 1000000% better. The sun came out, the radio decided to play a song I actually liked. Good life choice. I guess the moral of the story is, always have your chocolate ice cream on hand, because you never know when your day will take a turn for the worse. Even if you're wearing tights.

Maybe if I did cool things

So, I was just stalking myself on blogger. (Yep, I'm that full of myself.) Oh really? You don't do that? You don't scroll through your old Instagrams simply for the satisfaction of how good you looked in that one dress, or press the "see more" button at the bottom of your Facebook page to relive 2009 just for the heck of it? No matter how painful it is to be reminded of your old hairstyle, lingo, relationship, whatever - WE ALL DO IT!! Yeah, that's what I thought.

To further justify how super-concieted or nostalgic or whatever it was I was being, stalking my own blog got me thinking about why do I not do this anymore?

And then I said to myself, Self, (that one's courtesy of my dad. No wonder I'm so funnay) it's because WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING COOL AND ACTUALLY TOOK PICTURES OF IT OR EVEN REMEMBERED WHAT HAPPENED? Not that I was passed out drunk or anything, but lets be honest. Most of my recent pictures and ativities consist of things like this. AKA having fun and taking selfies, which is the beauty of being a teenager and owning my PSG white iPhone. We're expected to do things like taking cute selfies in selife study hall and then having them posted on Instagram against our will (see below) And then stalking ourselves later.

 

 Also, ignoring the less important things like an impending heat stroke, dehydration, and the fact that we have to pee. so. bad. at Cedar Point in order to capture our sweaty little faces.

 Taking selfies alone and pretending we were with Zac Efron.

Having the paparazzi take pictures of us while we have a dinosaur on our face.

 

 

And all of these got me thinking about how I never tkae pictures of cool stuff anymore, and seriosly you don't really want to see my face overandoverandovereverysingleday. It's okay, you can be honest. So I'll work on that, because I really do enjoy this part of my life and it means a lot to me. And I miss you.

 

Do you feel like we just broke up and I want you back?

 

 

I Made You Cookies

So, guess what? You're in luck! Because this last weekend I did something BEYOND fabulous, and it's called I went to church camp at this camp about in the middle of my hand, right next to the gigantic crease and the one thats supposed to tell you how many husbands you're going to have. (I'm going to die alone, just for the record.) It's called Springhill, and there's one somewhere else in Michigan and in Indiana if you live in either place and you're interested (you should be.) The only down side is that they don't have peanut butter there because "someone could be allergic and die" whatever  but they do have Jesus so that definitely makes up for it.

Ok now I have no idea what I was even talking about.

Something about cookies . . . and you being lucky . . .

OH! Because as a result of church camp, I woke up tired and feeling disgusting Monday morning and made an executive decision (an excellent one at that) to exempt myself from school. So, I slept until noon and then watched Harry Potter (the 6th one) and made cookies and let me tell you, it was pretty much a miracle cure. And also, the cookies I invented are delicious.

And healthy. 

Waiiiittt! Come back! They're still delicious.  They're not pretty, but everybody knows that its what's on the inside that counts.

They're full on lots of healthy things AND some very very naughty unhealthy things that make them taste good. And you should really just give them a try and see if you don't get addicted because I totally did. Like, I ate half the batch after I made them yesterday. Not that I have self-control or anything, so I guess that's not really impressive. But seriously just try it I DARE YOU!

Healthy Granola Cookies
Ingredients:
1/4 cup butter, softened
1/2 medium banana
1 T Honey
1 T brown sugar
1 T granulated sugar
2 medium egg whites
3/4 cup granola, use your favorite!
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1 1/4 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup creamy peanut butter (JIF. Only JIF)
1 1/2 t vanilla
1/2 t almond extract
1/2 t butter flavor
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t baking powder
cinnamon

What to do:
Preheat the oven to 375.

Put your banana half in a mixing bowl and mash it with a banana masher or any other variety of masher. As long as its good and smooshed because no one wants big banana chunks in their cookie.

Throw all the other stuff in the bowl and mix it up REALLY GOOD!

Divide the dough into 21 equal-ish portions on a greased cookie sheet or two. (I don't know you. I don't know how big your cookie sheets are.) Bake them for 8-10 minutes and then eat them. 

Each cookie is 135 calories ish, if you care. But I mean just go ahead and eat them all anyway because CHECK OUT ALL THOSE WHOLESOME INGREDIENTS! 

And that's why you're happy that I went to church camp this weekend. Love ya

Blogger Stats

I might be kind of new  around here, but I've browsed my fair share of blogs, and I've noticed some things. Things like: 

Most of them are written and photographed by female twenty-somethings. Don't deny it! YOU ARE A GIRL and if you're not a twenty-something, you wish you were.

Most of said twenty-somethings are single and loving it or married with an adorable baby that makes me think being a teen mom wouldn't be that bad. NO. But maybe you could just give me your kid?

 They're always so witty! I'll find myself laughing out loud like an idiot and then stalking archives for more hilarious humor for hours. Personality pretty much drips from the computer screen and I just want to lick it up so I can have some! Umm, awkward. There's my personality for you ...

They either have their lives really really together or revel in the fact that they really really don't. I'd fall into the second category. Like, wayyyyy into the second category. You should see my room, except I won't let you because it's too embarassing. I read the first kind of blogs for inspiration and the second kind when I have a reality check and need to feel better.

They only post on weekdays which I protest because JUST BECAUSE YOURE DOING FUN STUFF ALL WEEKEND DOESNT MEAN I DONT HAVE TIME TO SIT AND READ BLOGS! Sad but true.

They have a twitter. I know, getwiththetwentyforatcenturyerrebodyhasatwitter but I actually don't Twitter because what am I even supposed to say on there? Like when my cat does something funny? I don't get it, I'm an old lady.

They like Mean Girls which means I automatically love you! So you can go shave your back now ... Or something g. 

That's pretty much it. Everything you never knew about yourself, I'm kinda like your doctor! Ok that got weird anyway, love you bailout!